I see you smiling at me, love.

“When the evening shadows and the stars appear and there is no one to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love.” – Adele 

 

I saw your faces and I felt warmed inside, tears soon to drop.

I will always remember the love you gave to me, that fuzzy feeling.

I never felt this good for so long, so from the bottom of my heart I thank You Ya Allah.

 

I see green everywhere.

Alhamdulillah, I am blessed with another day to live.

I thought of my late mother while du’a after solah Isyak yesterday. I was thinking of how she gave her all to Him to give birth to me on the exact same date. I wondered of so many things; like how she tawakkal to Him and tried her best to bring me into this world, how she had suffered so much going through the pregnancy with me in it and what she thought of me when she hold me in her arms. When she looked at me after gaving birth, was she thinking of how proud she will be of me? O Allah, how it must have been such a huge feat for her to still carry me around for six months with her condition at that time too.

I feel blessed I was not born disabled, I feel blessed I am still able to use all my five senses well, I feel blessed I do not have to go to an orphanage but still have my siblings with me, I feel blessed I have learnt hardships in such a way which Allah deem best for me and I feel blessed Allah gave me everything that I need in life.

I realised I have not been appreciative and grateful and proud of what I have in my life. Wonderful human beings around me; they are the best that I can ever have and through ups and downs, I know they will be there.

20 years and counting, I am still growing up and learning. My priorities may differ with everyone but yet deep inside, all of us wants happiness and peace. My experiences may not be enough to others but with this experiences I have gone through, seen and feel with my heart, insyaAllah will make me a better person.

No matter I will not forget what Mom has done and given too. All these years she stood by the Rasol family and hold on. I can never repay it all, only Allah can give her the best. All those times I made her sad, I made her disappointed in me and unappreciative.

My siblings too has been the best. No other person can changed that. They had seen me through so much. All those times I cried so hard and whine to them, all those times I made them mad and angry, all those times I made them happy and proud and all those times they gave me all they can for me.

Wonderful dearests that Allah gave me during my teenage years. I am thankful I did not broke away from them and we managed to keep our ukhuwah tight. Alhamdulillah. Thank you for being my listening ears, thank you for sharing with me life experiences and thank you for the friendship bond.

Girlfriends of mine too has been spectacular. Knowing them and being part of their families has been an eye-opener. We sort-of grew up together and shun away all those useless talks back during our ITE days for two years. Plus, with my batch of Pixel Lab EXCOS they have been wonderfull too. All those times we had our struggles and sweet moments and countless outings. We made it through together even though three sort-of left but still.. We did the best we can and insyaAllah we made the previous seniors before us proud. Officially this Wednesday, we will be ITE graduates. Say HOORAH IE07F!

A special shout out to DEPM 1A04. Thank you all for wearing green just for me. Thank you for the book, scarf and toiletries. Thank you too for the extremely pleasant McDonalds surprise. Hehe. I still cannot believe how slow I was in not recognising these little-little things you lovelies did. Well, I am a year older so pardon if I forget a lil’.

I wish to be the best I can be for them and insyaAllah, I can go through life with a lil’ bit more faith than before.

No matter, Allah knows best.

PS. InsyaAllah pictures will be uploaded SOON! =)

Jangan Takut Hadapi Hidup.

Bismillah.

General definition of The ‘Four Corners’ Rule:

(n) A rule holding that is a document (as a contract, deed or will) appears on its face to be complete no outside evidence may be used to challenge it. The number of states that accept the four corners rule is in decline.

Source: http://dictionary.getlegal.com/four-corners-rule

Hmmmmmmm.. Interesting. Can someone please enlighten me by explaining the definition in simple words instead?

The above made me think of something. Allah SWT berfirman,

SESUNGGUHNYA DALAM PENCIPTAAN LANGIT DAN BUMI, DAN SILIH BERGANTINYA MALAM DAN SIANG TERDAPAT TANDA-TANDA BAGI ORANG-ORANG YANG BERAKAL.

[SURAH ALI IMRAN 3:190]

Ah yes, ‘Tanda-tanda bagi orang-orang yang berakal’. I have always liked this sentence. Most of the time it will make me ponder for a while and try to dwelve deeper into its meaning to understand Allah Creations. At one point, you may just think of something you might never think before and it makes you feel enlightened. And you will praise Allah for He is the Most Knowledgeable of all.  Allahu Akbar!

I thought I hadn’t done  my Law Tutorial 4 thus I went online but eventually realised that the work has already been handed in. So! I decided to use my time ‘wisely’ by starting to google the words of Section A for our Individual Assignment; which is to be handed in next two weeks. After countless research, to me, the most difficult definition to understand is that ‘Four Corners’ Rule. What do they mean by the number of states? Erk. I guess I am not that knowledgeable. I’ll ask Ms Wong soon insyaAllah.

As it is, I am getting a hang on things so yeah Alhamdulillah. I forgot that project management is a huge task binding different segments of the events industry and I managed to see that these ‘irrelevant’ modules I keep whining about isn’t that worst much. No matter, I am still adapting. I know, four weeks into the semester and I am still slow as a turtoise. No reminders needed there! However, I am a bit concern with the upcoming tests in Week Seven – especially Law! How? =(

I figured out certain things too this past week. I have to religiously practice my drawing skills. I have no interest in drawing but came to a conclusion that drawing buildings (columns, beams, pad foundation, reinforced steels), floor plans, orthographic & isometric isn’t that bad. I just need to know each part and draw it well. Engkau harus bersemangat sikit Razila!

Oh! I received my first result for my design tutorial and Alhamdulillah I got a B. The rest gotten A’s and B+ and all I have to do is to be consistent. I have my wonderful classmates to help me out and we are definitely helping each other out for all modules too. So yeah, alhamdulillah syukur.. I wanted to show you guys my drawings but nah.. It’s okay. Hehe. I am proud of myself la that I am able to draw things I never thought I could. =)

Slowly and consistently insyaAllah I can do it. 90% of the time I may feel down and discourage but along the way I guess I have learned to keep on storing information just so I will not fall behind the others. I just hope this will not make me numb and move on with school heartlessly. Na’udzubillah.

I am getting myself back together. It may seem nothing is progressing but I know I am. Bit by bit, lil’ by lil’. InsyaAllah amin! Ya Humaira asked whether I want to come down next Saturday for a specific event at MDM but I guess I’ll pass. I have so many things to do, revise on and catch up with. This is her time to get close to Allah through this way and not mine. I have my own set of ways to deal in moving towards Him and right now, this just isn’t one of it. InsyaAllah soon. Soon.

You know, I was reading one of my friend’s blog and his entries is what he has been thinking for the day. And one of it is preparing for death. I wish to slap myself so darn hard because here I am, trying to gain back myself in this world and in the process, I can forget all about His azab. MasyaAllah. Astaghfirullah hal’aziim! Aku ni teruk betul. Jadi muslimah pun tak benar sangat. This is truly, a wake up call for me.

Truthfully, I do not intend for this entry to be so long-winded but me being me, someway somehow it will be.

Ma’assalamah.

PS. Will I even see myself turning 20?

ICTAC.

• The trick to understand F&C 1 is through listening. Merely listening and refering to the lecture notes. That’s that.
• Drawing Sections from a Floor Plan is not as difficult as I thought. It is interesting and not boring.
• Presentations is always a rush and informal, contradicting to the ITE formal presentations.
• Tutorials is madness! Especially Law. So many words, so many cases yet so little time to write it all down. Bleargh.
• I need a proper timetable for myself done fast! Juggling so many things at one go is never good.
• We finally started on our M&D project and I am relieved. Alhamdulillah. Coincidence or not, I am doing F1 AGAIN.
• Masjid Darul Ghufran feels cozy. I like. =)
• I have to watch movies with people my age and older (27!). We have the same understanding to laugh at which part and not.
• My interest in Anoop is depleting rapidly but he shaved and he never look as good as he does now. I like.
• I gained back the warmth of Islam. SubhanAllah. Alhamdulillah!
• EE has so many deadlines! And I have started none.
• Nenek and Sakinah still being here is a huge blessing from Allah. If they really left, I have no idea how to cope.
• I found new singers to listen to. Fiona Apple songs has the bossa nova and jazz feel to it. I like.
• Junied and Syamil are wonderful nasyid singers. I can listen to them all day long.
• Reading random (informative and intellectual) blogs makes me smile and believe there is still sane people in this world.
• Watching Perempuan Berkalung Sorban gives me goosebumps and made me think why do all those guys has to be from Cairo al-Azhar and not some place else.
• I bought myself a book by Dr. ‘Aidh Abdullah Al-Qarny and the book is good. Makes me more connected to Allah and Rasulullah SAW. I like.
• Perhaps I could sneak into Abang Kamal’s room one fine day and steal his Nikon D90.
• Stationery shops are loved.
• Last but not the least, I am still as silly as ever. But not as silly as Barney AKA Dylan. (Where’s Barney? What?! Big Bird?!)

Like it or hate it, go Carpe Diem!

Footprints In The Sand.

Just in case I forget, here goes..

1. Law – Assignment (Individual)
2. ONOW – IMAX Movie “The Alps” Reflection
3. D&D – Tutorial 2 (Isometric)
4. IT – Photoshop CS4 (Resource Files)
5. IT – Tutorial 1 Group Work
6. EE – Marina Barrage Reflection
7. EE - Weekly Logs (Week 1 – 3)
8. M&D Project
9. EE Presentation
10. EE – Assignment 1(B)
11. Law Book – Chapter 4 & 5 (maybe..)
12. F&C 1 – Topic 1 – 2 ( Part 1 – 3)
13. M&D – Topic 1 – 4

No CCA for me this time round. As you can tell, I have my plate full already just like everyone else does. The only difference I guess, my normal routine will consume much of my time from next week as Nenek, Tok and Sakinah is leaving Singapore this coming Monday. Alhamdulillah, one whole week of unofficial leave has given leeway of some sort to justify myself and get assurances from love ones.

Alhamdulillah, bacaan Yasin sudah dilakukan cuma tinggal menziarahi tanah perkuburan. InsyaAllah, tomorrow.

On a reflective side.. As I was on my way to school today in the train in the morning, I read ANIS and an article titled “Aku dan Tiga Ibu” caught my eye and heart (figuratively). I had / have three mothers and two other beautiful godmothers in life. No one can take that from me. =)

I can never comprehend the pain my birth mother had to go through while giving birth to me. Thus far, I have known her to be a beauty, a bookworm and a sensitive & emotional person. And I too, have those bold qualities which she possessed. Other than that, I may not know much about her but I do know one thing. Allah gave her, me, and gave me the birthright of a Muslim. Allhamdulillah! In return he gave me my Mom, and gave her, family love. SubhanAllah! I am truly grateful for all He has given me in life.

We may have our differences with our own mothers but still I am reminding you and I too, heaven lies on our mothers feet.

Life works in a surprising way because in each curves and turns we take, Allah always always always gives us better things to us than we know and appreciate. Our hearts and minds may not accept everything we face but deep down within us; we know we have everything that we needed – ie. our comfort zone.

I guess if I do find my wonderful significant other and get married, I wish to be part of his comfort zone too . =)

Okay, I think I typed too much? Erk. Perhaps in my next entry I will give a shout out to my elder brother. Hehe.

Assalamu’alaikum!

PS. Akhirnya, Mas Selamat dah ditangkap!